The
Mercantile
Visit our New Traveling Merchantile Wagon at a Festival near you!
We're bringing our crap right to you for your extra added convenience!
McBitch'n Band Items and Wear
Your one stop Christmas Shopping Headquarters!
Original "I'm Itch'n for Mc Bitch'n" Back Scratcher
Here’s the item that started it all...
the original Mc Bitch'n Back Scratcher.
This is the one that is sold at all our shows
complete with "I'm Itch'n for Mc Bitch'n"
lettered on the top of the handle!
$4.99 each
Original "I'm Itchin' for McBitch'n" Underwear
Be the hit of the bedroom or just be comfortable knowing that McBitch'n
is always near to you! T-shirt type rubberized sweat patch
McBitch'n logo construction that will keep you warm and
sweaty in all weather! Rubberized logo doubles as splatter pad as well!
Good for you gals too!
$5.99 per pair, sold in 1/2 dozens only. Good for the whole week!
McBitch'n Girls Black T
For those style'n gal McBitch'n fans...already a best seller!
Black T with red “I’m Itchn' for McBitchn'”. Navel ring
not included.
$19.99 each, small only.
McBitch'n Golf Shirt
Be the hit of the links for both guys and gals.
You can bet they'll be looking at you
when you wear one of these to the club!
Available in most popular sizes!
$35.00 per shirt. Available in canary yellow and camo!
McBitch'n Splatter Pad
Keep that mess off the chair! 100% washable!
With ties to keep it from slipping when you really rip one!
Comes in black and camo!
$14.99 per pad
McBitch'n Outdoor Gingham Splatter Pad Set
Don't let an un-timely bodily function
accident spoil that picnic! Made from rip-stop nylon.
Special indoor/outdoor his-n-her 2 pad set. Blue only.
Only $24.99
McBitch'n Brand Chain Saw
Be the first on your block to own one of these beauty's.
Cuts anything, including class!
Comes complete with "Two Bottle Mc Donald" cutting safety instructions,
a pack of Camels and a six pack of beer.
Only $109.99
Front and Back Views
Original Mc Bitch'n County Jail Shirt
Get them while they last...this item is straight
from our last tour of the County Jail!
Strip seach is optional....
Comes complete with McBitchn Bumper Sticker
stuck on back, just like in the slammer!
We had the whole cell block wearing stickers!
$19.95 each
Original Mc Bitch'n County Jail Pant
They were hard to get but Two Bottle and Garry wore about 20 pairs
of these out under their pants...needless to say the pants are an extremely
limited item (unless we get caught doing something like stealing from the
county)!
Complete with elastic waist band and padded rear!
$19.95 per pair
Devo for Governor Bumper Stickers!
Be the first one on your block to support a real candidate
for governor in Michigan, one who knows the answer to the
question on the bumper sticker:
Are we not men?.......We Are Devo!
Free to a good home!
Vote for Me!
Mc Bitch'n Nut Clamps
Guys, hit those high vocal parts the Mc Bitch’n way with our
patented Mc Bitch’n Nut Clamp. Endorsed by Bob
and used on countless Mc Bitch’n tunes these
babies really hurt so you can get that “High Lonesome Sound”
Use one for the key of A and two for B Flat
$14.25 per clamp!
Mc Bitch'n Earplugs!
It’s fiddle time so grab those plugs!
These are the same fine quality earplugs
that we hand out to the audience at our shows!
Wear these and you won’t even hear yourself think!
$2.99 for a set of three!
Sign Language Made Simple Book
Use simple hand gestures to communicate your point!
Book cover photo is saying “Where's my money?”
Learn how to order a beer, some food or pick-up a chick
while Garry is playing the fiddle! Say much more
than you ever have with your middle finger!
The perfect companion to McBitch’n earplugs!
$15.99 each
McBitch'n Gasoline Maker
What energy crisis? Make your own fuel like Mc Bitch’n does,
All you need is a little corn! This amazing Gasoline Maker
will produce enough fuel to run all of your petro-chemical
equipment and you can drink it too!
$495.00
Mc Date
You won’t be lonely anymore, not with Mc Date!
Tested by Mc Bitch’n on our tour bus. Mc Date will
stand up to all the rigors of touring and rehearsals and
never complain about hearing the same tunes over and over!
Mc Date is the perfect conversationalist and gardening companion!
Mc Date will never ask you why you didn’t call or ask you
where you were last night!
Plus, she always looks like she’s surprised to see you!
$24.95 each
Mc Stick
They'll listen to you now with Mc Stick! Be the smartest guy in the room!
Great for making your point of view heard and understood.
We've personally settled many disputes with Mc Stick and it
works like a champ! Also great on the golf course for those
really tough shots, Two Bottle carries one in his golf bag at all times!
$25.95 each!
Mc Choppers
Made by Bob in his basement workshop, these teeth are
just what you need to enjoy that Apple or Ear of Corn!
Who needs high priced Dentistry when you can have
genuine Mc Bitch'n Mc Choppers. Worn and endorsed by Davey!
Ask him and he'll let you try his on for size!
One size fits all, attaches with common tile grout.
$43.95 (grout not included)
Mc Bitch'n Brand Portable Grill
Mc Bitch'n is proud to offer this portable patio grill
to it's fans! This grill will easily stow away in
that new addition on your house or just build a convenient
pole barn to house this beauty. Just hook up to your SUV, tractor,
pick up or semi to easily move this self contained grill. Whether it's burgers
for the
family or steaks for you and the wife you'll love cranking up this baby!
Only $2495.00 (small child not included)
Mc Checks
Why mess with a bank that doesn't care about your piddly little account.
Rest assured that Mc Bitch'n does! Plus each check is pre-labeled
"Pay to the order of The Mc Bitch'n Bluegrass Band" for your convenience!
We do care...and you can bank on that!
Minimum $1000.00 initial deposit, service fees of $200 per month apply
Mc Goo
Hey Gals, why spend all that money on Organic Moisturizer
when you can use the kind of moisturizer that Bob does,
besides it doubles for a good lubricant and is tasty on a
Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato sandwich!
16 oz plastic bottle only $12.99
Mc Ringer
Show your friends and neighbors that you support Michigan’s
vast natural resources by using the entire deer! This unique
Doorbell ringer will be a conversation piece for years to come!
It will also keep all the anti-hunting proposal canvassers away from
your door!
Only $189.00
(some assembly required)
Hilary Nut Cracker!
Mc Bitch'n endorses this fine Nutcracker that won't let you down!
Good God there are soooo many uses for this item around the house!
Buy two and get the Bill Clinton cigar humidor for free!
Only $15.99
Home Atomic Energy Lab
Now you and the kids can do some real experimenting right in the
comforts of your home with the Mc Bitch'n brand Home Atomic Energy Lab.
Davey has already irradiated his cat and now you can see it at night!
Comes complete with a two year supply of plutonium. Just think of the
fun you can have with two headed mice and Twinkies that will last forever...
$34.95 (some assembly required)
Backyard Kids Play Slide
We finally have become global here at the Mc Bitch'n Mercantile!
Our first offering imported from China is our Backyard Play Slide!
We had some concerns about all the Chinese recalls but once we
tested this item we were convinced that there was absolutely no lead paint
anywhere on this item. Made of weapons grade aluminum.
Concrete pad not included. Thank you NAFTA!
$342.95 (assembly required)
Mc Bitch'n Patio Shrub
Take the drudgery out of decorating your patio with these
Mc Bitch'n Brand Patio Shrubs! Great for brightening up the day!
Just water and place in a sunny spot. Comes complete with Firesign Theater
CD and brownie recipes!
$19.95 per plant (plastic container included)
Who Are You?
Our brand new McBitchn' T-Shirt asks the questions that
you have always wanted to get answered and now you don't
have to remember! Good for that morning after, provided
you can find the shirt!
$15.99 per shirt (girl not included)
Mc Bitchn' Pet Feeder
Your pets won't go hungry anymore. Just a couple
of these Pet Feeders in your garage or backyard shed
and you'll have all the pet food you need.
No more trips to the store and no more carrying
heavy bags of animal food. You'll love the convenience!
$1500.00 per feeder. Operator optional.
Gal's "Universal Truth" Shirt
We've been saying it for a long time and
found that there is no better statement of fact!
It's the Mc Bitchn' motto!
$15.99 small only
Unisex "Universal Truth" T-Shirt
You can wear the "Universal Truth" on this cotton T.
Good for the whole family. Comes in Grey, Black with white lettering and red.
$15.99 comes in small, medium, large and circus tent!
Genuine Mc Bitchn' Hot Tub
Be the hit of your neighborhood with the Mc Bitchn' Hot Tub. Now you'll be having all the parties!
$89.00 special orders only
A Mc Bitchn' original
The one and only Be Like Bob T-shirt.
We've been looking for a guru like Timothy Leary
for years and we finally realized that he was right
in front of us! Tune up, Turn on and Drop out,
just like Bob did years ago....only make this your
last commercial purchase!
Comes in all standard sizes. Only $14.99
Brand New from our R and D Department...
The Mc Bitchn' Commuting Mug!
This mug is designed for those long commutes to and from work
or going to the In-Laws for Sunday dinner. It let's you get "tuned"
for work
and will help you unwind after a long day. Also doubles as a handy "traveler"
on the weekends! We take ours everywhere!
$19.99 per mug, 24 ounce capacity
Marilyn Chambers Mc Bitchn' Album Cover Promo Photo
This photo was supposed to be on the cover of our first album
but the record company wouldn't have any of it so we never released
the record. As you can see Marilyn was actually "itchn' for Mc Bitch'n"!
(I think she had a mosquito bite). You can't beat this for a collectable eye
opener!
Limited Quantity Available 8" x 10" glossy photo
Only $19.99
30 piece Christmas Card set with envelopes
Only $29.99
New Franchise Opportunity exclusively for all Mc Bitch'n Fans
We pooled our resources and stayed up real late a few nights coming up with
a way for Mc Bitch'n to share the wealth with its fans. I think we hit upon
a niche
market that is bound to grow and maybe even fester. You can be in on the ground
floor
by investing in your own Linen's and Shit franchise. Be you own boss,
never wash sheets again, hold sidewalk sales, write off your car, bring back
the three Martini lunch, it's too good to be true, I'm getting all choked
up just
thinking about the possibilities. Besides with this ecomomy we're
gonna need all the business opportunities that we can find!
Call for brief prospectus.
The Mc Bitch'n Portable Recliner
Be the first one on your block to get the Mc Bitch'n Portable Recliner.
Great for backyard parties, football games and all outdoor fun!
They store easily, are stackable, and can double as an attractive
cold table for beverages and salads at your outdoor events!
Completely portable with an inflatable wheel for moving the
recliner around the yard. Davey even uses the recliners inside
for Super Bowl Parties and to escort guests to their car after a
hard night of drinking. A true multiple use item!
Only 59.99 per recliner
Comes in gun barrel gray, green and yellow
Please specify color when ordering
Just In!!!
Be the first one of your friends to order the new Sarah Palin book “Going
Bogue”.
Get a whole bunch of made up reasons why the McCain Campaign went down the
shitter.
Find out what a hockey mom and avid right to life supporter thinks
of teen pregnancy now! Follow her step by step instructions on how to gut
a deer!
Above all help Sarah pay the mortgage!
Only $19.99 advance price
Mc Roaster's
Thanks to an alert Mc Bitch'n Fan you can now get the one
and only Mc Roaster. Never seen on TV! Sure to be a topic of conversation
around
the grill during that backyard party. Hey, live a little! And you
can bet that your in-laws don’t have any of these babies. Bring them
out
for those special occasions like when your mother in law comes
over for a summer dinner. Plus the kids will love them, use them as handy
marshmallow roasters! Be creative, the sky's the limit!
Set of two for only $15.99